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|-- TRACER --|
For a few days after we brought Ryan and Will home from the hospital, things were almost a nightmare in that trailer. Ryan was despondent, and Will was getting pissy about it. Erik and I just stayed out of it.
Our one major task was carrying Ryan from the bedroom to the living room, then outside for a while, then back to the living room, and finally back to the bedroom. I think the utter lack of independence was what fucked Ryan's head up.
I never asked what happened but almost overnight his mood improved.
In addition to the carrying; I spent a lot of time transporting Ryan and Will to medical appointments. I'd been doing this about a week when Janet showed up one evening just about closing time.
"Hey, Tracer, Sweetie," she said. "How you doing?"
"Good, thanks. What are you doing out here so late in the evening?"
"I'm going to cook dinner for Ryan and Will. That way, you and Erik can go have a quiet dinner alone."
"That's sweet of you, but you don't have too."
"Well, I'm here now. So take advantage of it!"
"Deal," I replied. "I'll go tell Erik."
"And I'll go figure out what I'm making for dinner."
"I went grocery shopping this morning while the boys were seeing the doctor, so we're fully stocked."
"That's good, Hon."
We walked out of the office together. Janet headed towards the trailer and I went into the stable. I explained Janet's visit. Erik's face broke into a wide smile.
"That's really nice of her," he said. "Why don't you go in and get cleaned up. I'll be in real soon."
I ran to the trailer and found Janet hard at work in the tiny kitchen. Will was sitting on a corner of the counter telling her where things were stored. Will just smiled at me as I walked through and back to the bathroom.
I took a quick shower and with a towel wrapped around my waist went into the bedroom. Erik was in the bedroom stripping down.
"Here, wrap this around you," I said, handing him my towel.
"Oh, thanks. I forgot about Janet."
"Yeah, not just the two of us anymore around here either."
"True," Erik said.
I pulled on a nice pair of jeans, grabbed a button down shirt and pulled on a blazer. I finished it off with my dress boots. I was about to head for the kitchen when Erik returned to the room.
He looked me over from head to toe. "I guess we're not going to the diner," he teased.
"No. I thought we'd go to the steak house."
"That sounds like a good idea. I could really go for a good steak."
"I'm going to go check on Janet while you get dressed," I told him.
I walked out to the kitchen and found Janet well in control.
"That smells great," I said.
"Yeah, Janet knows how to cook!" Will teased.
"Well, we'll have to hire her to cook all the time," I replied.
"I don't think so," Janet interjected. "I've eaten Tracer's food; he cooks as well as I do."
"Thanks for the compliment, Janet."
Erik came out dressed in an outfit comparable to mine. I thought he looked mighty handsome.
"Lookin' good, Dad!" Ryan called over to him from the couch.
"Erik, you look quite handsome," Janet said.
"Thanks," Erik said quietly.
"Y'all have a great dinner," Janet said, as she shooed us out the door.
We drove into town and had a quiet dinner. It was the first time in over two weeks that we'd really had alone time to just talk. We ate slowly and even ordered desert.
It was after ten when we headed home.
"Oh, crap. Ryan's probably still stuck on the couch," I said.
"I'd forgotten all about that," Erik replied.
"Janet certainly couldn't carry him back to bed by herself."
"Well, it's not like he can't stay up late tonight. Look at us, it's past our bed time, and we're not home yet."
I laughed in response.
When we pulled up to the trailer almost all the lights were out.
"I hope he's not trying to sleep on the couch," I said, as I unlocked the front door. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I walked inside. I looked over at the couch - no sign of Ryan.
"Well, I'll be…" Erik said. "I wonder how they got him to the bedroom."
"I won't look a gift horse in the mouth," I replied.
"I guess we'll find out tomorrow morning."
Once I got into the room, I stripped down and climbed into the bed. Erik climbed in a few moments later.
"Night," he said, with a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Night," I replied as I rolled over and crawled on top of Erik. I started nibbling down his neck.
"I thought we were going to sleep," Erik said quietly.
"Not quite yet!" I replied.
I returned to working my way down his body, kissing, nibbling and otherwise teasing as I went.
"You're tickling," Erik said.
"You're not ticklish."
"I can get squirmy and ticklish when I've got a tongue teasing me."
After teasing his body for a few more moments, I moved down to his dick and started licking it like a lollipop. I put a hand under each of his thighs and pushed his legs up. With that, I started exploring his ass crack. I relished eating Erik's ass as much as he did mine. I pushed his cheeks apart and paid close attention to his hole.
"I think I need to be doing this to you," Erik moaned.
"Do it, Man," I replied.
I got up on all fours and Erik climbed behind me. He spread my cheeks and he started a full out tongue assault. He continued for a good while.
"OK, Erik, I'm ready. Fuck me!" I ordered.
"You got it," was Erik's reply.
He grabbed the lube and slicked up his dick. He pushed the head of his dick through my sphincter and pushed his full length into my hole. He pulled almost all the way out, and then pushed back in until his pubic hair scratched my butt.
"Nice, deep strokes!" I moaned. "That's the way I like it."
I did my best to milk his cock as he fucked me. His long, slow strokes made my ass very happy.
"You're doing a good job on my dick," Erik groaned.
"All in a day's work," I responded.
Erik grabbed my hips and started pulling me back as he thrust in. It made it feel as if his dick was going in two inches deeper.
"Aw, fuck," I moaned.
"Yeah, your ass is doing a number on my dick, too!"
It had been a while since Erik had fucked me doggie style and I was really enjoying it! I started pushing back with his pulls, adding more impact to the fuck.
"Oh, damn!" Erik groaned. "I'm gonna cum!"
I didn't get a chance to respond before I felt Erik unload in my ass. I unloaded onto the bed without touching my dick as he shot. As I felt his dick twitch one last time, he collapsed onto my back.
I slowly lowered myself to the bed with Erik still lying on top of me. His dick was still lodged in my ass. I let Erik rest and, finally, he rolled off me. He took me into his arms and kissed me deeply.
"Ready for sleep now?" he asked.
"Well, I need to get a towel and clean up the cum from the sheets," I replied.
Erik released me and I took care of clean up. Morning was going to come too early tomorrow.
The next morning, the mystery of Ryan getting into the bedroom was solved. Janet used a chair from the office. Between the three of them, they were able to get Ryan onto the small, wheeled secretarial chair, and then she pushed him first to the bathroom to let him clean up a bit; then to the bedroom to work his way into the bed.
Later that morning, I'd just gotten home from taking both Will and Ryan to another medical appointment and, with Randy's help, I'd gotten Ryan installed in the living room of the trailer. Walking into the office, I saw Erik on the phone – his back to me. "I'll tell them when they get back, Frank. Take care of yourself. Bye," I heard him say.
"Tell them what?" I asked.
"I didn't hear you come in or I'd have let you talk to your dad," Erik answered. His face looked grim.
"Tell them what?" I demanded.
"Baby, they found a small lump in your Mother's breast. They're going to biopsy it this afternoon."
"Lump?" I said in shock. "Like cancer?"
"They won't know till they get the test results," Erik replied. "It could be benign. Frank said he would call once they got the results."
"How long does that take?" I asked.
"He said they would know later in the evening. He'll call once they have the results."
"Did he say how Mom is doing?"
"He said she's worried and shaken. But the doctor said they caught it very early, so…"
"So even if it is malignant, she's got a chance," I finished.
"I should go tell Will," I said.
"I'll go with you."
We walked in silence over to the trailer. Will was sitting in the chair while Ryan lay on the couch.
"Hey, Dad," Ryan said as Erik walked in behind me. "The doctor's appointment went really well today!"
"I'm glad to hear it," Erik replied.
"I've still got a long way to go," Ryan added.
"Umm, Will, Erik got a call from Dad," I started. "They… they found a… they found a lump in Mom's breast."
I broke down crying at that point. I'd always been a Momma's boy and this was just too much for me.
I heard Erik fill in the gaps. "They're going to do a biopsy this afternoon and your dad will call with the results this evening," he said.
Like me, Will asked a few questions. Erik, unfortunately, had few answers based on the news provided to him.
Ryan reached over and put his hand on Will's leg. I looked at it and stared. Based on their positions, Ryan had reached over with his right hand. The cast around his left wrist reminded me just how much our family had gone through – the year 2001 was sure going rough.
I don't really remember any more of the conversation; it was as if I were listening to someone else's dream.
"How about some lunch?" Erik asked.
"I'm not hungry," I replied.
"I'll heat up the leftover chili and make a few sandwiches," Erik stated.
He walked over to the kitchen area and made a lot of noise. Finally, I started to focus – Erik in the kitchen – eeek. I still can't understand how he kept Ryan fed until Ryan got old enough to cook. I looked up from my seat in the kitchen and saw Will trying to assist with his one good arm.
"I'll get it," I said.
"I won't burn the trailer down!" Erik jokingly responded. "Baby, I can heat up a pot of chili and put two slices of bread around some lunch meat."
A few minutes later he brought over platters to Ryan and me. He then placed a plate and bowl in front of Will's seat and the four of us ate quietly in the living room. After we were done, I helped him clean up everything.
"Why don't you take the rest of the day off," Erik said to me quietly.
"No. It will be better if I work. I need to keep busy," I replied.
Erik put his arm around my shoulder.
"She's a strong woman and nothing as weak as cancer is going to beat her," he said.
"Thanks. You're right. She's going to beat this, even if it is cancer."
"That's the spirit!"
The rest of the day dragged by so slowly. It felt like time might be going backwards. We had just finished dinner when the phone rang. Being closest to it, Will picked it up.
"Hello?" he said. A brief pause and then he said, "Hold on a second, Dad."
I ran to the back bedroom and picked up the other handset.
"I'm on," I said.
"Sorry to take so long to call, but your momma wanted to have everything 'worked out'," Dad said.
"Worked out?" Will asked.
"Shit," I interjected. "It's cancer."
"Yes, Tracer. It is," Dad replied.
"So what are the plans?" Will asked.
"The doctors said that it was a small lump and had probably not spread very far. They gave us several options. She can have chemo. She can have a mastectomy. She can have a combination of the two."
"What did y'all decided," I asked.
"Your momma decided to have something called a modified radical mastectomy, based on the doctors' advice. They think this will remove all affected tissue and eliminate the need for her to undergo chemotherapy."
"When are they doing it?" Will asked.
"Well, since it's already Friday evening and they don't schedule surgery for the weekends, we decided on Tuesday morning, and the surgery is scheduled for nine," Dad explained.
"I'll talk to Erik," I said. "I'll either drive out on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning."
"I'm going, too!" Will interjected.
"Boys, it's good of you to think about coming, but it's not necessary," Dad said.
"Yes, it is!" Will cut him off.
"Son, you're not healed up. Just stay at home," Dad urged.
"Dad, I don't think you're going to win this one. Is Patrick coming home?" I asked.
"Yeah, I already lost that battle too. I should go; I need to tend to a few things and make a few more calls. I'll talk to you both tomorrow and I'll get your momma on the phone then, too."
"Night, Dad," Will said.
"Night," he replied.
"I love you both," I said.
"We both love you both, too. Bye," Dad answered.
I walked back out to the living room.
"So when are you heading home?" Erik asked.
"This is home, Erik," I replied. "Will and I are going to leave Sunday afternoon or Monday morning, whichever works better."
"Either is fine," Erik replied.
"I feel like I'll be leaving you in a lurch."
"We'll manage," Erik answered somberly. "Let's all get some rest. The next few days are going to be busy."
"Sounds good," Ryan answered.
I helped Erik carry Ryan into his bedroom. We both said goodnight and then went to ours.
After stripping down, I slipped under the covers next to Erik. He pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. Within seconds the tears started. Erik stroked my head with one arm while holding me tight with the other. I just lay there and eventually fell asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night, my neck a bit stiff. Erik's arms still held me to him. He was snoring lightly. I moved around a bit and curled up next to Erik. He shifted in his sleep and soon we were spooned with his arms once again providing the security I needed. I went back into a nice, deep sleep.
Monday morning came too soon in some ways, and way too slow in others. I didn't feel right leaving Erik with both the farm and Ryan to take care of. At the same time, I wanted to get back to my parents and help out there too.
I carried my suitcase out to the truck. Walking back into the trailer, I called out, "Will! You about ready to go?"
"Yeah, can you carry my suitcase?"
"Sure, I'll come get it in a minute."
"I'll get it for you," Erik said, as he walked into the trailer behind me.
"Thanks," I sighed.
"Look, everything is going to turn out fine. Just believe it," Erik urged.
"I know. I know. I'm just worried."
"I'm just sad that I'm not going to be with you on your birthday."
"Oh, I didn't even think of that."
"Hey, I'm not one to forget a birthday. You're turning twenty-three on Wednesday."
"Happy Birthday to me…" I started to sing quietly.
"Come here," Erik said. He took my hand and led me into the back bedroom.
"Here," he said, handing me an envelope.
"Just open it."
I tore open the envelope and found a funny birthday card. I chuckled as I read it.
"That was nice," I said.
"You didn't look at it completely," Erik chided me.
I closed the card and looked at the front, and then I opened it and read everything inside again.
I just looked at him puzzled.
Erik took the card out of my hand and turned it so the back was facing me.
"Oh," was all I could say. Taped to the back of the card was a picture of a furniture store. "What's this mean?"
"Well, with all the house renovations almost done, I figured we'd need new furniture for the bedroom."
"But the budget," I stammered. "I know I wanted to replace the old stuff, but you said…"
"Screw it," Erik said. "I've got to learn to be a bit less frugal and enjoy life."
"Thanks. That's a great present. I can't wait to really decorate the room!"
"It's not the most romantic birthday gift."
"Hell it's not," I replied. "I'm gonna get a new bed for you to fuck me in for the next twenty years!"
"Just twenty?" Erik chuckled.
"Well, we'll need another new bed by that point!"
He leaned in and kissed me.
"You should get on the road. I don't want you getting there too late tonight."
"I'm gonna miss you."
"Take care of yourself and Will. Give your folks my best, and tell Shirley to kick cancer's butt!"
"I will. Bye!" I said, and kissed him.
"Bye, Baby. Call me when you get to your folks."
"Will do," I replied. "Let's go, Will!"
Will and I climbed into the truck and got on the road. It was going to be a long drive and I was already mentally exhausted.